Chasing slow, choosing joy

I have written only a handful posts in the last 12 months and I think I’ve mentioned how tired and emotionally drained I am in most of them. I know it’s dull, everyone is busy and knackered but it is my reality. Throw in a healthy dose of anxiety because this woman, mother, business owner feels she is lacking in almost every department and you’ve got yourself a recipe for misery.

Starting with good intentions

At the beginning of 2018 after a horrific bout of flu that wiped me out for almost a month I vowed to take things at a slower pace and to restore some kind of balance. You can read the post here. In some ways, things have improved – I no longer work in the evenings although I beat myself up for this from the moment my head hits the pillow – and I have handed over some of the day to day running of my shop to my brilliant staff.

When the new school term care around, signalling the end of my years as a school run mum – all three of my daughters are in secondary school now – I thought ‘this is it, I’m really going to crack it this time’. Spoiler alert, I haven’t but I have really began to open my eyes to those moments of happiness that life throws up.

Priorities

A very dear friend of mine lost her dad recently and during the eulogy she spoke beautifully about the little things he did that made him special. From the nuances of his every day life to the massive effort he made at Christmas to make every single one wonderful for them. Not once did anyone mention how he achieved every goal he had ever set himself or how brilliant it was that he always completed his to do list. No, the thing that the people who loved him held on to were the memories they made together.

Yes, I know this is nothing new – enjoying the little things, choosing positivity and happiness. It has been my mantra for years and Pinterest is full of inspirational quotes in that vein but somewhere along the line I stopped believing it.

I realise that for too long I have (unconsciously) put happiness on hold. Not being able to enjoy x, y or z because there’s just this thing that I need to finish – work, house renovation, household chores… you name it, I can find something that needs a tick in the box. Sound familiar?

So friends, in this season of hibernation I’m choosing to slow down once and for all and to really and honestly welcome joy every day of my life. I cringe at how cheesy this sounds but it is important, this life of ours is a short ride.

I know many of us prioritise responsibilities above everything else, I’d love to know how you manage the two. Drop me a line in the comments section below!

Antonia x